Every Tuesday nights, I hang out with a small group of friends and we call it our Tuesdate(s). We spend the evening catching up with each other, building up one another, listening to one another, and encouraging each other.
We all have different backgrounds, different personalities, different upbringing, but we all love each other no matter what our differences are.
One person brought up love language and I thought that it might be a good idea to share it to everyone who never knew that there was such a thing as the love language.
So what is the Love Language?
The term love language was the brain child of Gary Chapman from his book of the same title; which outlines five ways to express and experience love. (Gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and service).
1. Gifts (Receiving Gifts)
In every culture, since the beginning of time, gift giving has been used as an expression of love. Everywhere you go, people give out gifts to express their love and as a response people who receive gifts feel loved. Don’t mistake this as being materialistic but people who have this kind of love language need not to receive expensive gifts, just the thought of receiving something makes them feel loved and appreciated.
2. Acts of Service
Ever heard of the term “action speaks louder than words?” I guess whoever came up with that has Acts of Service as his primary love language. Helping out carrying the groceries, assisting your sister with their homework, helping your spouse with the dishes are some of the ways that people express their love, and it’s through service that some people feel loved. People feel more loved and valued when they get served out of love, not because they were forced to do so.
3. Words of Affirmation
The complete opposite of Acts of Service – Words of Affirmation. We should never underestimate the power of words especially the power of encouragement and appreciation. A lot of people feel loved whenever they get appreciated even for doing simple things. Their love tank gets filled immediately even for simple words like “you did a great job at the show last night!” or “Thanks for helping out wash the dishes.” Though simple words of appreciation can build them up, insults or harsh words can be life shattering for them.
4. Quality Time
If you hang out with a person whose love language is quality time. Put down your mobile phone, better yet switch it off and pay attention to that person. For them time spent is the biggest investment in their lives. They’d rather sit down at the park with you rather than receive the most expensive jewelry or gadget in the world. Who doesn’t appreciate undivided attention when out on a date?
5. Physical Touch
A hug or, a pat on the shoulder is all that it takes for you to express love for them. If words are not enough, nothing communicates to the ones we love better than that reassuring hand on their shoulder especially when times are tough.
Love languages are not the same even if we belong in the same family, it varies and differ for each person.
Where you able to identify how you express love or feel love? So, what’s your love language?
If you don’t want to just assume what your love language is or if you’re confused, or if you want to know who Gary Chapman is you can click here to know more about the love languages and discover what your love language is.