Before the last year ended, a lot of people were probably setting goals, planning ahead, making bucketlists, thinking of doing better, or making New Year’s Resolutions. Some people on the other hand can’t wait for 2016 to end either because it was a tough year or something great’s about to happen in 2017.
I honestly don’t know if my 2016 was tough or crazy. A whirlwind of events passed by that left me floating (and not the cloud nine kind of high). Last year was great! I met new people – made new friends; had the opportunity to lead and serve; and got to travel to another country. But less than a month after my travel I had no idea that I would once again be riding an airplane. I did not see it coming that my next plane ride meant that it would be the last time that I would be seeing my Dad.
I did the wrong stuff after we bid him farewell. Instead of dealing with the pain and allowing God to use the opportunity to heal me, I diverted the pain. I tried to mask the pain by getting busy, and “doing things for the Lord” but in reality I was trying to escape the process of going through the pain. I owned up to the “strong personality” perspective that everyone had of me.
But God has a way with things and I felt that He loves me so much that He did not allow me to crash and burn. During the process I was reminded that “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.” EVERYTHING is His – from the speck of dust to huge skyscrapers; from the tiniest bug to the tallest man on earth; from a newborn child to my Dad – it all belongs to Him; they all belong to Him. He gives and He takes. The timing of when He would give or take is completely up to Him, we will never understand why it happened at that time, but I’m sure that He knows what He’s doing.
Realizing that doesn’t mean I’m completely fine now. Just when you thought you’ve moved on, the thought of him would just hit you or you’d see something that reminds him of you. I know that he’s in a much better place – away from the pain and troubles of this world, yet at the same time I long to be with him and hear him crack his corny jokes again.
This year, I’m excited to Move Forward, one step at a time.